I'm James, a koala stuck in the middle of the desert. It's tough, but not as tough as getting a water bottle filled. You might be thinking, isn't there a sink nearby? No, I asked myself that very same question but could not see any. I'm in the middle of hot pool of sand, which looks great but doesn't quite quench my thirst.

Looking down the horizon I can spot a tree in the distance, I'd estimate about 3 kilometers away. Given my height of 50 centimeters, the jar of Nutella on my back, and empty plastic bottle in my hand, I'd estimate it will take me roughly 13 days to get there. Yes, this calculation includes my average speed and indomitable need to sleep for a good chunk of the day.

This mission is looking tougher and tougher by the minute. But wait? What do I see there? A fucking bird. Holy shit. This could be it. I need a game plan. I swiftly grab the jar of Nutella, open the lid, and take a good handful while staring down the bird. Fuck, now I got sand all in the Nutella jar. I really should have cleaned my hand beforehand. Before I had a hand? Do I even have hands? I'm a koala after all. Whatever, moving on.

The bird has noticed me and is now approaching me at high speed. Is it coming in for a kill? No time to figure that out. Koala the battle stations; start covering my entire body in Nutella and get ready to jump the bird. As soon as the bird comes within range I jump up and manage to stick onto the left wing of the bird. One bird down.

What would any other koala do in this situation? Take a good, long, nap. I use the bird's wings as blankets and call it a day. The mission must go on tomorrow. After a good night sleep I wake up with a brilliant idea. Ever heard of the expression "Light as a feather"? Yeah, me too. That's the plan. I remove all feathers from the bird and use the Nutella to glue it to my body. In theory this should have reduced my weight and increased my aerodynamics. I'm ready to go airborn.

I start flapping my arms and fly off down the horizon towards the tree in the distance. What's that next to the tree? A sink? This is great. I land next to the tree and make my way towards the sink. After tinkering around with the faucet I get water to pour out, it's beautiful. I fill my water bottle and take a good large sip of water.

Mission accomplished.